What's in a Pronoun?

Pronoun: a word that is substituted for a noun

Personal pronouns are just that, personal. We are nouns, so our personal pronouns are a reflection of ourselves. In a few letters, they seem to define to the rest of the world a deep part of our identities; personal pronouns succinctly reveal our identified gender.

Imagine, if you will, growing up with an ideal standard of female beauty that was a constant reminder of what you are striving for (this may be a stretch for those of you male-identified folk out there). I am not talking media images or an abstract notion of stereotypical feminine beauty. I mean a real, live human being that you interact with regularly and that you have compared yourself to for as long as you can remember. This person need not abide by the social rules that dictate the feminine mystique or universal appeal, but in your mind this person's whole being exhibits what is means to be a strong, powerful, beautiful woman.

Now, imagine, that template for your strong feminine identity discovers that, in fact, they are not feminine at all. They make the difficult decision to switch to male gender pronouns. They are still the same strong, beautiful, amazing person, but no longer identifying with the female aspect of themselves. While you understand the struggle and the strength embedded in this decision, it can't help but shake, even slightly, a pillar in the foundation on which your own gender identity is built.

All of a sudden those few letters that make up a pronoun seem enormous. The casual abbreviation that, for most of us, has been there to represent us since our first language development now takes on an importance you never thought possible. The trivial is now monumental in your mind.

I amazed how that little substitution for a noun, that isn't even my own, has opened the emotional floodgates.