Saturday, November 8, 2008

Got a (Wo)Man?

I am 27 years old and single. I sometimes find that my relationship status can make me a feel like a social leper. So many activities in San Diego, especially in the summer time, seem to be designed for couples. The romantic element imbedded in so much of the entertainment marketing just scream out, “Got a (wo)man? Why not?”

Even as the time changes and the weather turns a bit chill (for southern California anyway) I look back on some things I wanted to do this summer but didn’t because I was partner-less: moonlit kayaking on mission bay, a movie at cinema under the stars, even new restaurants and wine-tasting seems a little silly alone. It isn’t that I can’t be independent and do things on my own, or even that I don’t have friends who would enjoy these activities. It just seems they enjoy them with their respective partners. The thought of watching the infinite amount of cuddly couples (who would inevitably surround me at these events) while I sit alone just eliminates most of the appeal.

Halloween reminded me of my single-ness with its plethora of “couple” costumes. At the Halloween night party I attended, I was the only one who was not part of a couple. Even though I am pretty sociable and outgoing at parties, those odds are pretty intimidating. I don’t feel obligated to couple to hang out with my friends at parties but I am keenly aware that I am different.

What is with this subtle, yet pervasive anti-singleness? Is it my age? Does my proximity to 30 mean that I am part of a dwindling pool of singles who are sharing my experience? Is it just my friends? Is it San Diego? I just wonder how many woman have succumbed to the barrage of couples marketing and found themselves a lover almost solely out of the desire to avoid being alone.

2 comments:

Justine Urbikas said...

wow. you seem to live in couple-land. I mean sure, they are everywhere, and being a part of a 'sort-of' partner I feel like I'm in a similar boat as mine is often a thousand miles away, and I look around at all the happy couples that get to live together and go out together and what not...

but yeah, I dunno what to tell you, you're sounding a little carrie bradshaw-esque there, but hey, if we learned anything from her, its that you can be single for a long time and still rock it.

RobinD said...

Oh I rock it!